For the past couple of years I haven’t blogged much. Being a person with “no religious designation” here, I didn’t want to over-talk either side because it’s not really my place.
I hope the end of this war is the beginning of a greater peace in the Middle East, and maybe even someday greater freedom. A person can dream. It may be a long time before a person in a Muslim majority country can openly practice anything in the Vodun or Pagan spectrum without fear for their life though.
We’ve been carrying on here as best as we can. We’ve had some community ceremonies, some private ones. Whenever we’ve gathered, people have been blessed by it.
My mental health has been stabilizing, thanks to lots of positive energy and medication. I’ve been working to improve my Hebrew as well. It has been difficult to break through some of the barriers, but I think I’m getting better at it. I need to get out more and have more conversations with people. That is the hardest part. I’m at home most of the time, and the culture here isn’t the sort where people get in too deep with strangers unless they’re trying to sell you something or flirt. So even when I do go out, I don’t get to really talk to people much.
I think I need more books. The one I am studying from Thousand Hebrew Words is old. I’m told it’s alright, but people don’t really talk like this on the street. Once I get through it, I’m going to shop around for more modern Hebrew learning books.
Overall, I’m okay. Somewhat. There has been too much death, and there is still more going on. It’s impossible to shake off the scale of it all. It hangs in the air and penetrates every crack of what would be happiness or even just contentment. So I try to focus on gratitude. I am grateful to have survived with my residence intact. I’m grateful that I haven’t lost anyone close to me in this war. I’m grateful to have enough food and water. I’m also grateful to be able to live my truth.
I can’t honestly “both sides” this one. Though I’ve avoided the back-and-forth throughout the war, I am under no illusion that life would be better here with Hamas in charge. For me, they represent oppression and death. Not much more I have to say on that.
